Two seconds. One Wasp. One Knife.

The other day I told Jane a memory from my childhood. It was an interesting childhood (tho the story that follows doesn't really go far towards establishing it as such) and Jane suggested that I ought to write down at least some of them. And so, as a wise and dutiful husband, I did as I was told. Had to happen sometime.

I mostly approached it as an exercise in writing. So, I'll be happy to hear thoughts on either the memory or the writing.

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I have killed a lot of insects. Be it by slap, heel, swatter or spray. In my idle youth, I made use of exotic means such as the water hose and magnifying glass. In my teen years I engaged 3rd party killers, feeding insects to the various reptiles that were in my charge. By now, in my forties, the count has to be thousands. Likely tens of thousands. 

I remember just one. It was a wasp and I killed it in Mexico during my mid-teen years.

At the time, we lived about 20 minutes outside Cabo San Lucas. It was the 1980s and conditions were 'rustic'. The luxury hotels that form an unbroken parade from the airport at San Jose to the arches of Cabo were only a mirage. We had no running water, but on the plus side the pit-toilet commanded a stunning view across the arroyo and down to the Pacific. Meanwhile, the surrounding desert was home to many wasps, and many of those wasps tried to take up residence in our home. Nests weren't really a problem. If we found one it would be sprayed with pesticide. Simple and done. A more common problem were the frequent visits to our kitchen area.  All our cooking was done in a area that was basically open-air. No walls and only partially covered by palm-frond roofing, allowing easy access for wasps wanting to feast upon whatever traces of food or drippings of fruit juice remained on the counter and cutting board.

You can't really spray pesticides on a kitchen counter or cutting board. Faced with this limitation I discovered a simple and effective way of dealing with our unwanted visitors. The thing about wasps is that once you disconnect the pointy end from the angry end they are a lot less scary and much easier to remove from the home. So, I dispatched many unwanted visitors simply by letting them land, get stuck into whatever they were intent on eating and then making quick use of an old broad bladed kitchen knife.  It was simple and easy. However, one thing I learned from my eight years working in the Casino is that any human activity, no matter how simple, repeated often enough will eventually be home to human error. Honestly, I doubt I'd even remember those wasps if not for just one mistake. 

As I said, it was quick, simple and easy. Until the day I missed. From the moment I missed until the matter was resolved, I knew nothing. Only after the fact did thought and understanding return to me in a rush. It was perhaps all of two seconds and it went like this...  I missed. The wasp, quite rightly, roared up and straight at me. I, quite instinctively, raised the kitchen knife to a vertical position in front of my face, skyward like a fencer's salute. The wasp hit the flat of the blade just inches from my eyes making a sweet, dull thunk of a noise. It then bounced off, and fell back onto cutting board. I did not miss a second time. 

So I remember this wasp, and only this one. Not the ones that got away. Not even the ones that got me. I have been stung by plenty of bees and wasps over my life, and none of them stand out. 

So I wonder, why this one?

...I drank what?

I had a terrific chat with Thomas yesterday in the car on the way to school. It started with him saying the difference between humans and animals is that humans drive cars. I engaged the Socratic method, and he abandoned that idea after I pointed out Gramper in Iowa was born around the time cars were being invented, and asked if people born before then were animals since they didn’t have cars. After a few more questions and answers, we were onto the use of tools and really hit the sweet spot. I asked him what is the difference between a bear sitting on a log and a person sitting on a log? Apparently, a bear just sits on a log, but a human knows what a chair is and is using the log as a chair. And so, Thomas now tells me that the difference is the way humans and animals think about things. I reckon he is in pretty good company on that track.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself"

~ DH lawrence

And no, its not a perfect answer. And yes, my questions were leading, but it’s still an position that one could find thrown around an under-grad philosophy class and I am very proud of the way he reached that conclusion. He was willing to abandon ideas when they were shown to be false (using cars = human) and moved to new conclusions supported by his considered answers to the questions I was asking.

Then he wanted to know if the Hulk is stronger than Superman. Fair enough, some mysteries are more important than others for a 6yrs old.

BTW - The  1st person that correctly identifies the source and relevance of the title for this one wins 5 internets.

Two birds with one stone...

Tomorrow is our anniversary. I ordered Jane's present well over a week ago and it was delivered in a timely manner, and in a largish cardboard box.

The present is a lovely little 4.5L proper oak port keg with a little brass spout. Even now it is going through the roughly 24 hour prep-process of cleaning/soaking with water before the 1st batch of port goes into it later this evening. All well and good.

Meanwhile, the children (especially Lillian) had designs on the box. Initially she wanted to make it into a giraffe costume, but Jane was able to turn the idea towards just making a giraffe. I provided one small (tho important) idea WRT the engineering to support the head & neck, but Jane clearly watched a lot of Playschool as a child.  Until such time as the kids need help taking down oldman Withers and his haunted amusement park, my own childhood TV experiences will be of little use. In any case, I thought the result was well worth sharing.